Missing Marlin and Jamar!

I haven't been able to figure out why I have had such a heavy heart this month when I think of Marlin and Jamar. It finally ocurred to me today that both of their birthdays are this month. On May 7th Jamar turned 4 and on May 10th Marlin turns 8. Marlin and Jamar were with us from September 2005 through Septmeber 2006. We took them just months after Bob and I got married and only a month after moving into the house. They immediately fit in with the other kids and Bob and I fell in love with the two of them. Unfortunate circumstances led to their leaving our home and Marlin has really struggled since leaving. Both kids spent some time with their mother in New Britain but continued neglect and endangerment has forced them to be removed again. Today I went out on a limb out of frustration at not being able to get any information from their current social worker and asked a friend at DCF to look into how they were doing for me. Incidentally - this friend was the major force behind the agreement that Peter's birthmother and I came to for his adoption - she educated his birthmother and helped facilitate the entire adoption - you can imagine the important place she has in my heart!

Marlin and Jamar are not in their mom's home anymore and will most likely not be reunited with her again. Marlin is back in the residential facility after having a really difficult time in the last foster home he was placed in. Jamar has been with a family for 8 months and they may try to adopt him eventually. He has some learning disabilities identified through enrollment in headstart - he is happy, loving and affectionate according to the foster mom and he sees Marlin once a week. Marlin is doing great in school and doing as well as possible in the residential facility - he just went to a Red Sox game! I have to admit that it has been a hard day. It's hard not to imagine what we might have been able to do for them or what we should have done differently. In the end God had a plan and Marlin and Jamar are doing well for themselves - they will always be in our prayers!

Peter and Marlin were instant friends. This is a picture from the first night that Marlin and Jamar came to live with us. Peter was thrilled to have a playmate and a friend living in his own house.
Molly and Jamar - Molly was so excited to have a baby in the house. She led Jamar around the house and took care of him like a little mother. She does the same thing with Annie now and told me recently that she can't wait for the new baby to get here because when Annie gets a little bigger she is not going to want Molly to hold her anymore!

Sorry if this blog entry is a bit of a downer but it can't all be whipped cream covered babies and happy hugging kids!

I also wanted to bring up one more thing for all you Grey's Anatomy fans - on last week's episode there was a woman who was terrified of having a baby because she was HIV positive. There are alot of areas in the HIV field where little progress has been made but the area of maternal - fetal transmission is almost obsolete with one exception. Not every state has a law requiring HIV testing for pregnant mothers - this should be a federal law and I'll tell you why. In 2001 CT passed a law saying that every pregnant woman was required to have an HIV test - if she does not get one during prenatal care or does not get prenatal care than the hospital does one when she comes in to give birth. The result is that 0 babies have been born with HIV in CT since 2002. Amazing - not one baby born with HIV since the inception of this law and yet some states still have not passed it!

I'm off to work on another grant while Bob wins us some money at poker! Auntie Beth was nice enough not to berate us slackers for needing an extension on our taxes and then being procrastinators on getting all of our info in - she will be happy to know we are finally submitting electronically tomorrow - woohoo - bring on the big refund bucks!

GNM - ILY!